1 00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:10,969 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:16,140 [Woody Harrelson] Now, I know that I am no better 3 00:00:16,265 --> 00:00:17,893 than any of my fellow nominees 4 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,813 or any other human in this room or on this planet. 5 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:27,277 I also believe that inter species equality is paramount. 6 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:32,658 [Woody] And yet we go into nature and we pillage and we ransack. 7 00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:38,539 We use machines to impregnate the innocent dairy cow. 8 00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:41,708 Then callously snatch away her baby 9 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,460 as she cries out... 10 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,337 - Why do they do this? - ...in despair. 11 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,464 Even Woody Harrelson makes speeches like this. 12 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,675 - It's just an Oscar. It's not the Nobel Peace Prize, right? - Yeah. 13 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,552 You know what my speech would be if I win an Oscar? 14 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,303 - What? What? - "I wanna thank the Academy 15 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,597 and don't allow babies on planes, goodnight." 16 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,848 - They'd love that speech. - I know. 17 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,059 - You'd be a hero. - Then we take 18 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,228 the life milk meant for her calf, 19 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:05,607 and we use it for cream in our lattes. 20 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:09,569 Okay. All this stuff aside, he'd be so great for Uncle Mo 21 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,904 for the show, don't you think? 22 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,990 - Oh, my God, yes. - Tough to get. 23 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,449 Yeah, well, I don't know. 24 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,535 I guess it couldn't hurt to get him a script, right? 25 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,036 Could not hurt at all. 26 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,580 - Oh, hi, Lar. - [Larry David] Oh, hey. 27 00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:21,081 [Susie Greene] Got some more fabric. 28 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,417 Look at this tapestry I'm making for the temple. 29 00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,627 Is that something? 30 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,212 [Jeff Greene] I've never been more proud of her. 31 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,922 - It's the tree of life. - Did you sew that? 32 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,215 - [Susie] Yeah! - Yeah. It's a banner 33 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,758 for our temple football team. 34 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,260 We're playing Beth Hillel. 35 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,262 And their defense is ridiculous. 36 00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:38,265 They sacked our rabbi six times last season. 37 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,601 Speaking of the temple, you know, our rabbi 38 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,060 is an amazing guy. 39 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,521 Lar, you, of all people would love this guy. 40 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,857 - Oh, would I? - He's cool, he's hip, 41 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:49,985 - he's spiritual. He's just fantastic. - Oh, yeah. The hip rabbi. Yeah. 42 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,903 - Yeah, sure. - He's a big golfer. 43 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:55,616 Can't afford a fancy-schmancy club like we belong to. 44 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,117 - Uh-huh. - [Susie] So I think it would be 45 00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,037 a nice gesture for you to take him as a guest. 46 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,956 - Take him to the club with me? - [Susie] Yeah. Come on. 47 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,292 - Oh, geez. - One round. 48 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:08,669 - This is gonna make you happy? - Very happy. 49 00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:11,298 - All right, fine. - Aw. Thank you. 50 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:12,674 Thank you so much. 51 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,056 Oh, come on, man! No. 52 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,475 - Come on. Come on. - Oh, come on. 53 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,809 You think I wouldn't do it for you? 54 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,269 - Oh, geez. - I'mma leave you hangin'? 55 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,270 I'm old. Come on. 56 00:02:26,395 --> 00:02:28,815 I can't waste a day playing golf with a rabbi. 57 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,567 Every minute is precious to me now. 58 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,401 - [Jeff] Oh, let me-- - At this time of my life, I-- 59 00:02:32,526 --> 00:02:35,280 - He's a great guy, Larry. - That's a four-hour favor. 60 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,948 And five, if you include lunch. 61 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,409 Come on, play golf with the cool rabbi and me. 62 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:40,827 You'd be doing me a big favor, come on. 63 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,705 - Oh, it's a favor. - I appreciate it so much. 64 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,791 I am doing you a favor. 65 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,793 How many times are you gonna remind me of this now? 66 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,587 - As often as I can. - Thank you, anyway. Both of you. 67 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:54,007 ♪ ♪ 68 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,639 [Larry] Oh, that, yeah. That really does a lot. 69 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,349 Will you please? 70 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,686 Hey, I got a, uh, text from Woody Harrelson's people. 71 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:08,063 He's interested. They're gonna set up a meeting. 72 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,648 - Really? - Yeah. 73 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,191 - Wow that's great. - Yeah. It's very exciting. 74 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,151 - I love Woody. - I love Woody, too. 75 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,865 Okay. You know what? I'm gonna give you that. 76 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,617 Ah. Very generous of you. 77 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,495 Hey, by the way, I'm seeing your girlfriend this week. 78 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,080 - Heidi? - [Larry] Yeah. 79 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,790 Oh, I'm so glad. You're gonna love her, she's terrific. 80 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,458 - Wait, the eye doctor? - Yeah. 81 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:31,919 Gentlemen I'm gonna show you how this is done. 82 00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:33,797 - Never again. - I know, I know. 83 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,799 Uh-- I appreciate it. 84 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,342 You know, the High Holy Days are coming up pretty soon. 85 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:40,303 That is just so exciting, is it not? 86 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,431 It sure would be nice to see you in temple. 87 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,974 Yeah. Okay. Don't hold your breath. 88 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,976 It's been a while since you've been to this temple. 89 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,645 I think never is the more appropriate word. 90 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,272 [Rabbi Freedman] Well, maybe we can remedy that. 91 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,357 - How about a little wager? - Sure, fine. 92 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,110 I sink this putt, you come to my temple for services. 93 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,614 - Oh, yeah. Okay. You got it. - Now you guys heard it, he bet. 94 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,032 Sure, yeah. I'll come to your temple. 95 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,951 I'll get breast implants, too. 96 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,995 [Freedman laughs] That's up to you. 97 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,664 Oh, my God. 98 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,584 - No, no! - Yes! 99 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,878 Are you serious? 100 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,337 - No, that-- I wasn't-- - You're going to temple. 101 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:15,839 No, I can't. 102 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,132 - [Jeff] You said it. I heard it. - What? No. 103 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,842 - [Jeff] Yes. - Come on. 104 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,177 - I'll see you in temple. - [Larry] What, are you kidding? 105 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,595 You don't expect me to go there. 106 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,472 [Larry] We were joking. 107 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,973 - Come on. We made a fair bet. - You didn't put up anything. 108 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,433 I just-- What did you bet? Nothing. 109 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,185 You're gonna look beautiful with breasts. 110 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,853 - You're gonna look beautiful. - Yeah. 111 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,354 You got a face for it. You're gonna look great. 112 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,856 [Larry] I can't go there, I'll suffocate. 113 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,357 [Freddy Funkhouser] Nice shot, rabbi. 114 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:35,734 How the fuck did he make that putt? 115 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:39,112 ♪ ♪ 116 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,956 - What was all that? - What's all what? 117 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,709 You're like a mouse, scurrying back to your seat. 118 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,920 - I was scurrying? - Yeah. What are you up to? 119 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,838 - What you up to? - I saw it. 120 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:57,880 You didn't see shit. 121 00:04:58,005 --> 00:04:59,716 What's that smell? 122 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,219 Kitchen. 123 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,764 It's not kitchen. It's more floral. 124 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,516 Maybe even... fruity? 125 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,062 It's nothing-- Hey, look, Larry. 126 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:14,856 Larry, calm down. Just relax. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 127 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,650 Larry, Larry, get the fuck out of there, man! 128 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:17,567 What is this? 129 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,238 - Watermelon? - What? 130 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,698 I thought you hated watermelon. What's going on? 131 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,534 Okay. I fucking lied, okay? 132 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,369 I fucking love watermelon, I love it. 133 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,496 But I can't eat this shit in front of white people. 134 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:33,166 - What? That's just ridiculous. - I just can't fucking do it. 135 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,085 You can't eat watermelon in front of me? That's so crazy. 136 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,878 In front of white people, why? Who gives a shit? 137 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,839 Even Black people don't like to see Black people 138 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:41,258 eat fucking watermelon. I feel bad for the fucking watermelon. 139 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,051 You probably love it too, don't you? 140 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,928 My favorite fucking fruit in the world. 141 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,847 - Mine too. - Plenty of times I've been to cocktail parties. 142 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,266 I gotta put the frickin' watermelon in a little napkin 143 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:50,976 and go in the bathroom and eat that shit. 144 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,769 Or go into the fucking forest and eat that shit. 145 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,396 - Go into the woods? - Yeah. Opening the napkin 146 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,689 and eat the fucking watermelon by myself. 147 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,274 Okay. Well, you know what? 148 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,942 Black people, white people, I don't care. 149 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,152 Next time I go to the market, I'm gonna get some watermelon, 150 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,613 I'm gonna bring it back, and you're gonna eat it 151 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,031 in front of me. 152 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,950 I'll work towards it. You know, I-- 153 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,870 We're gonna do this together. We're gonna do it together. 154 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,454 - My man. - Okay. 155 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,416 [Larry] All right. Here we go, 156 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,751 little cup of joe for the Woodman. 157 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,587 - Ah, thank you very much. - Huh? 158 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,380 You know, I don't drink it much. 159 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,675 If I have coffee, which is rare, I usually drink bio dynamic 160 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,845 but I'll, uh, is this-- This isn't bio dynamic product? 161 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,306 It's dynamic. 162 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:32,851 I don't know if it's bio dynamic, but it's definitely dynamic. 163 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,896 Do you know what? This is like the sweetest digs, Larry. 164 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,689 [Larry] Hey, you want some of this cream in your coffee? 165 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,524 - I got it fresh from-- - [Woody] Cream? 166 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:43,111 Is that cream, like cow cream? 167 00:06:45,654 --> 00:06:47,157 You know what that does, Larry? 168 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:51,244 The cycle of violence that creates that cream? 169 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,289 I mean, do you realize the inherent cruelty in that? 170 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,626 What happens to the cow, to the calf? 171 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,254 Wait a second. 172 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:05,133 I didn't-- I didn't get that cream from a market. 173 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,676 Is that what you think? Oh, no! 174 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:10,513 I have a-- I have a farm. And a cow. 175 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,724 I-- And the cow has a calf. 176 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,685 And after the calf is finished, that's when I take it. 177 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,521 - That's extraordinary. - You think I'd go into a market? 178 00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,690 I'm not a monster. 179 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:24,235 And when I do go, I'm cream-shaming. 180 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:27,155 - I cream-shamed too! - You're a cream-shamer? 181 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,406 - Yeah! - Oh, my God! 182 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,283 I'm cream-shaming all the time! 183 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,993 - Unbelievable! - I thought I was gonna 184 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,163 cream-shame you now, but I underestimated you. 185 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,040 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Come on. 186 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,793 I apologize, and where's the, uh... Where's your farm? 187 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,336 It's outside the city, you know. 188 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,671 What's your cow's name? 189 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,256 - Jessie. - Jessie? 190 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,925 Yeah. Jessie, oh, my God. 191 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,094 Woody, I got to tell you, I just love that cow. 192 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,054 I just-- I just love it. Sometimes, 193 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,306 I'll just lie in the sun and watch her chew that cud. 194 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:56,434 I don't know, just-- You know, I had pets growing up. 195 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,229 I had dogs, cats, whatever. 196 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:03,692 But I have never loved an animal the way I love this cow. 197 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,778 - I just adore her. - Could I meet Jessie? 198 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,155 Could I go to your farm and meet Jessie? 199 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,282 I mean, this is right up my alley. 200 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,454 You wanna meet Jessie? 201 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,999 I would love to. What do you say? 202 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,251 Well, yeah, yeah. Sure. Yeah. 203 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,836 - Yeah? - Yeah. 204 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,963 Okay. So I'm here a week. What about Thursday? 205 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,298 Hmm. Nah. Thursday is not good. 206 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,884 I got... I gotta work on Thursday, yeah. 207 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,720 - Oh, okay. Friday? - Friday's not good. 208 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:35,598 Saturday, you're not working, and that's my last day here. 209 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,434 We'll do it Saturday, yeah? 210 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,815 Yeah. We'll do it. We'll do it. Yeah. Sure. 211 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,275 - [Woody] Great. - Yeah. 212 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,152 - It's meant to be. - Yeah. 213 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,571 But Larry, let's talk about this script. 214 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,698 There's a few notes I have. 215 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,409 It's nothing. It's not a page-one rewrite, 216 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,120 but let's start from page one. 217 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,289 ♪ ♪ 218 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,207 [Jeff] Why would you tell him you had a cow? 219 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,251 - That's nuts. - Yeah. I was put on the spot. 220 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,128 You know, the whole thing with the cream. 221 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,255 - You saw the Oscar speech. - What do you know about cows? 222 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,591 I know nothing about cows. I know the cow's name is Jessie. 223 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,551 You told him the cow's name was Jessie. 224 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,511 He asked me what the name was, and I said Jessie. 225 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,972 Jessie's the worst name for a cow I've ever heard. 226 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,099 Fuck you. That's a good name for a cow. 227 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:21,227 - What about Bessie? - Okay. Bessie sounds made up. 228 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,854 That's like naming a dog Fido. 229 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:26,524 No. Jessie, you know a young lady who skateboards. 230 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,485 That's who Jessie is. 231 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,487 - I really don't think you know what you're talking about. - Oh, and you do? 232 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,655 By the way, no Jessie, you can forget about Woody. 233 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,075 Hey. Oh, you know what? I'm so glad you're here. 234 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,077 Thank you. And thank you too. 235 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,328 - For what? - Taking the rabbi to golf. 236 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,039 - Oh. - It was a mitzvah. 237 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,916 Don't you feel good about yourself now? 238 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,417 No, I don't. 239 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,211 And of course, he roped me into going to temple. 240 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,630 Aha! It'll be good for your soul. 241 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,633 It'll be unbelievably boring. 242 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,344 And I'll regret every second I spend there. 243 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:58,973 Do you not have any kind of feeling of spirituality... 244 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,350 [Susie] ...an inkling? 245 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,976 Some kind of spiritual-- 246 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,477 All right. You know what? Get the fuck out. 247 00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:05,855 - Fuck you. Both of you. - Hey, Susie! 248 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,565 In all seriousness. 249 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:11,528 Do you know anybody who has a farm or a cow or-- 250 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,530 [Susie] What am I, Little House on the fucking Prairie here? 251 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,616 I don't know cows and farms! 252 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,368 Maybe two farmers have come in to mail 253 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,495 - a big package or something. - They don't live around here, 254 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,830 farmers, Larry. 255 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,039 They have a couple of big packages, 256 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,040 what are they sending out? 257 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,458 - Feed? - Larry. 258 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,168 We're not gonna know any farmers. 259 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,754 We don't know any cows. What's the matter with you? 260 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,840 Ah you're fucked. You gotta find a cow. 261 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,342 ♪ ♪ 262 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,052 [Heidi] Okay, Larry. One last time. 263 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,470 - One? - [Larry] Yeah. 264 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:38,972 [Heidi] Or two? 265 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,099 [Larry sighs] Hmm. 266 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,767 - One? - [Larry] Mm-hmm. 267 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,270 - Two? - [Larry] Uh... 268 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:48,231 [Heidi] Just pick one, whichever's clearer to you. 269 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,567 I, uh-- Let me see that again. 270 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:51,860 - Okay. - [Larry] Uh-huh. 271 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,361 - [Heidi] One. - [Larry] Yeah. 272 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,321 - [Heidi] Two. - Oh, boy. How-- 273 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,990 Which one can you see better? 274 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,408 I know they're different. 275 00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,784 I can see there's a slight difference. 276 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,244 - Yes. - Yeah, but I can't tell 277 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,620 - which one's better. - Well... 278 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:03,913 - I think two. - [Heidi] Two? 279 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,456 - Eh! - One more time? One? 280 00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,916 - [Larry] Yeah. One. - [Heidi] Two? 281 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,333 Ah. You know what? 282 00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:09,711 - Now I'm liking one. - You like one? 283 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,713 - Yeah. - Okay. One. 284 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:12,922 - Definitely one. - All right. Let's go to three and four, huh. 285 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,966 - Three? - [Larry] Yeah. 286 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,301 - [Heidi] Or four? - [Larry] Four. 287 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:17,677 - [Heidi] Four? - Oh, yeah. Four. 288 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,095 [Heidi] That was fast, okay. 289 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,306 No. Hold it. Let me see it again. 290 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,557 Okay. Three. 291 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,017 Three is really growing on me. 292 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,059 Here's four again. 293 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,437 Eh, uh... Let me see it again. 294 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,105 - [Heidi] Three. - [Larry] Yeah. 295 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,148 - [Heidi] Four. - [Larry] Okay. 296 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,524 This is like a trick of some kind. 297 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,234 Promise we're not tricking you. 298 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,486 I think actually three is one and two is four. 299 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,280 - Am I right? Huh? - What... 300 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,741 W-- No. No. 301 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,493 Just three or four. What's the first instinct? 302 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,037 Who gets the tie? 303 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,788 There are no ties in optometry, you got to pick one. 304 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,332 - Do me just one favor. - Uh-huh. 305 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,917 Can you go back to one and two? I think I want two. 306 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,293 - Okay. - That's why I'm having trouble 307 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,878 - with three and four. - Oh. 308 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,463 'Cause I can't get one and two out of my head. 309 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,173 'Cause I think I made a mistake with one. 310 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:56,674 - Okay. We're back at one now. - Yeah. 311 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,676 - Okay. Now, let me see two. - Okay. 312 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,345 - Two. - Okay. Yeah. Two, yeah. 313 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,513 Two! Perfect. Let's leave this for a second. 314 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,891 Let's walk away from this, let this settle. 315 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,434 - Okay. - Here's some info. 316 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,186 'Cause that was a lot of decisions. 317 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,562 That's been my problem in my life. 318 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,231 I don't stay with the first instinct. 319 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,941 I go to the second instinct. 320 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,943 Hey, by the way, can you believe this weird rally 321 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,778 that's going on in Westwood this week? 322 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,154 - Yeah. What the hell is that? A hate rally? - So offensive. 323 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,780 What are they doing? Yeah. 324 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,950 I mean, free speech, fine. But this is fucking crazy. 325 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,035 [Larry] Freedom of speech, that's so overrated. 326 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,160 There shouldn't be freedom of speech, 327 00:12:25,285 --> 00:12:26,913 unless it's me, of course. 328 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,331 And that should've been in the constitution. 329 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,041 - Freedom of speech... - Sure. 330 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,085 ...for Larry David. Everybody else said "Ask Larry." 331 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,670 Let me dilate your eyes, okay? Wanna take your glasses off? 332 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:34,837 - Sure. - All right. 333 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,422 Let's do this real quick. 334 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,966 You'll only be blurry for about a half-hour. 335 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,801 Here we go, boop and boop. 336 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,720 Sure you've done that before. All right. 337 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,014 Nurse is gonna come in and run a couple more tests. 338 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,641 I just wanna say one more thing here. 339 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,101 We'll get you a new prescription, okay? 340 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,143 All right. You know what? 341 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,852 Uh. One. Should've been one. 342 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:53,106 - You just hang tight. - [Larry] One, definitely. 343 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:59,195 ♪ ♪ 344 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:19,924 Stay strong, man. 345 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,551 - Son of a... - Geez! 346 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,219 - ...bitch! - Oh, my gosh. 347 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:27,181 - Dude, what are you doing man? - Sorry. I'm so sorry. So sorry. 348 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,766 Look at this. Come on, dude. 349 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,768 I'm so sorry. I just came from the eye doctor. 350 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,395 They dilated my pupils. 351 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,188 And everything's kinda-- I didn't see you. 352 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,774 Well, look at that. This is totally ruined. 353 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,901 I can't believe this is happening. 354 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,611 I'm screwed for today. 355 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:43,573 What am I supposed to do? You can't wear that anymore! 356 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,826 Would you go to an event like this? 357 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,996 - Oh, yeah. You got the rally. - Yeah. I got the rally today. 358 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,539 You can't wear that to a rally. 359 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,499 - No, I can't. - Are you kidding? No. No way. 360 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,751 Can't you just get a sheet? 361 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,419 No, I don't wanna wear a fucking sheet. 362 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,630 It's not a sheet anyway. This is a robe. Feel it. 363 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:00,881 - Ah. - That's not... 364 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,216 I always thought it was a sheet. 365 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,302 I can't afford to go get another one of these. 366 00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,928 But what about just temporarily? 367 00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,972 - Put a sheet on just for today. - No, I'm not gonna wear a sheet! 368 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,640 It's like a spare tire, you know. 369 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,351 No, I can't do that. That's total amateur, man. 370 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,977 Yeah. Yeah. You gotta get that cleaned. 371 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,729 - It's really a shame. - Yeah. 372 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,314 I'll tell you what I could do. 373 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,482 Take it to the dry cleaners, they can get that out. 374 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:22,362 But I've got a rally in Tucson and one in Santa Fe coming up. 375 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:23,863 And those things are the real deal. 376 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,239 - They're the big ones. - Okay. 377 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,116 - So when do you need it by? - Two days. 378 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,077 How about this, you know? For the rally today, 379 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,371 you know, you go robe-less, it's not the end of the world. 380 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:34,791 And then, um, you'll have that robe spanking clean 381 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,501 - in two days. - You promise? 382 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,419 I don't know, why do they make these white anyway? 383 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,046 They stain so easily, you guys, you're out all the time 384 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,382 in the fields, with the burning, and the ashes, 385 00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:45,218 you must spend a lot of money at the cleaners for this thing. 386 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,594 Well, it's tradition. 387 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,429 - You know tradition? - Of course. 388 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,765 "Who, day and night, must scramble for a living, 389 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,935 feed the wife and children, say his daily prayers?" 390 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,645 - Yes. - "Who has the right, 391 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:58,064 as master of the house, to have the final word at home? 392 00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,274 The papa! Tradition." 393 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,859 Tradition. Yeah, exactly. 394 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,112 If I was starting your organization, 395 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,739 I would've opted for a black robe. 396 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,699 You can't see black in the middle of the night. 397 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,244 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. 398 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,829 - You wanna see the white. - Got you. 399 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,580 I'll give you my phone, you write your number in here. 400 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:15,957 - Okay. - Just put it in there. 401 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,209 - Hurrah! - Hurrah! 402 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,794 - Stay strong! - Stay strong, brother. 403 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:20,920 White is right! 404 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,547 - You should call me-- - Great. 405 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,465 - Thank you so much. - Okay. Sure. 406 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,634 Yeah. Let's get this uh, taken care of. 407 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,261 Again, I-- My apologies. 408 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,847 And you have my word, on my honor. 409 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,933 You will have this robe for your hate rallies 410 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,309 in Tucson and Santa Fe. 411 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,353 All right. Hey, thanks. I really appreciate it. 412 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,063 - Yeah. Sure. - I really appreciate it. 413 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,066 Yeah. And hey, uh, no starch, no crease, please. 414 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,318 - [Larry] No starch in the robe? - Right. 415 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,447 ♪ ♪ 416 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,992 - Good morning! - [Larry] Hey, good morning. 417 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,743 How can I help ya? 418 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,704 I spilled some coffee on this. I'd like to get it cleaned. 419 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:55,913 - Sure. Let's have a look. - Hey, there's nothing to see. 420 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,040 Just throw it in the bin. 421 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,417 No, no, no. Let me see it. Let's see how bad it is. 422 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,960 [Larry] Just throw it in the bin. 423 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,211 It's good to get a sense... 424 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,923 - Is that what I think it is? - Yeah. 425 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,093 - Yeah. It's not mine. It's-- - Well, let's hope. 426 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,262 Yeah. It's-- Some Klansmen are over, 427 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,889 and I spilled coffee on it. 428 00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,765 It's my responsibility, and I feel like, you know, 429 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,059 - I spill, I clean. - So if it's your responsibility, 430 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:19,479 then it's your responsibility to take it somewhere else 431 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,272 because I don't want it in my store, 432 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,274 I don't wanna clean it, I don't wanna touch it. 433 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,942 I get the reluctance, I do. 434 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,986 But let me just say this, as far as Klansmen go, 435 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,447 he's a decent Klansman, yeah. 436 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,073 - A decent Klansman... - Yeah. 437 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:33,993 - ...is a Klansman. - True. True. 438 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,370 But, you see what you're doing here? 439 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,247 What you're doing is what they're doing. 440 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,957 You don't wanna have anything to do 441 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:42,084 with this particular group, that's their mantra. 442 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,711 And now that's what you're doing. 443 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,338 - This group hates me. - Yeah. 444 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,131 - I'm a Jew. They hate me. - I understand. 445 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,549 - See this cheek? - Mm-hmm. 446 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,051 All right. Look. See? See what I'm doing? 447 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,136 I'm turning that cheek. Turn the cheek! 448 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,764 Turn your cheek! Let's not be like them. 449 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,266 Let's show them that we're different. 450 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,893 We don't discriminate. 451 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,312 - Okay. - Thank you. Thank you. 452 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,272 I really don't like this, but I'll do it. 453 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,857 I really appreciate that. 454 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:08,569 And, um, is there any way I could get this robe, uh, 455 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,780 by tomorrow, he's got big rallies coming up 456 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,657 in Santa Fe and Tucson. 457 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,284 - Three o' clock, tomorrow. - By the way, you know anyone 458 00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,994 who... owns a cow? 459 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:19,789 We're in the middle of the city, there's no cows. 460 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:23,000 If someone comes in and they look a little farm-ish, 461 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,669 if you have a farm-ish customer... 462 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,046 Yeah, I don't think that happens too often, but okay. 463 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,215 Thank you so much. Really appreciate it. 464 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:30,967 Uh, you know what? I don't have any change. 465 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,552 You know, it takes bills. 466 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:34,595 [Larry] Yeah, it's hard to stuff them in there. 467 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,013 It's very narrow, I see. 468 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,807 - Not that hard. - [Larry] By the way, 469 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,100 no starch, no crease. 470 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,601 See you tomorrow. 471 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,104 Absolutely disgusting. 472 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:48,818 The blowing of the shofar symbolizes many things. 473 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:51,779 In the Torah, it is said the blowing of the shofar 474 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,698 is a call to assemble for battle. 475 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,116 - Hey. - Hey. 476 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,492 It's a High Holy Day miracle, 477 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,160 - look who's here. - Yeah. 478 00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:01,080 ...intolerance and hate that are amassing right here 479 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,623 in our very city. 480 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,626 A mere few blocks away, people are gathering 481 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:09,589 to spread their lies and disinformation and venom. 482 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,299 Can you believe this, there's a hate group in Westwood? 483 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,843 Yeah. I ran into one, I spilled coffee on his robe, 484 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,469 I had to bring it to the dry cleaner. 485 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,054 You had a confrontation with the hate group? 486 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,806 - Yes. - What kind of robe was it, 487 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,808 - like a big, white robe? - First of all it's not white. 488 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,476 It's more like bone or ecru. 489 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,936 Huh! How was the eye doctor? You see Heidi? 490 00:18:25,061 --> 00:18:27,523 - Yes. She's a great doctor. - Great doctor. 491 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,108 God. 492 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,359 - Charming. Really attractive. - Yeah, thank you. 493 00:18:31,484 --> 00:18:34,280 I knew you would be happy when you saw her, she's terrific. 494 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,741 However there's something I have to tell you. 495 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,284 Okay. 496 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,077 It's difficult for me to even bring this up. 497 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,622 - Bring what up? - When the exam was over, 498 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,458 she dropped a Pirate's Booty on the floor. 499 00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:49,295 Didn't pick it up. 500 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,297 Did you see her drop the Pirate's Booty? 501 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:54,800 I saw her do it. I saw her look at the Pirate's Booty, 502 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,677 make the decision not to pick it up 503 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,429 and walk out of the room. 504 00:18:58,554 --> 00:18:59,888 Maybe she got it later. She could've been embarrassed. 505 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,057 No, she didn't. 506 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,350 - You know why? - Why? 507 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,934 'Cause I picked it up. 508 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,520 Yeah. I don't like what that says about her. 509 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,938 No, I don't like it. 510 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:10,191 It's indicative of a moral compass gone askew. 511 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,859 That's terrible. 512 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,527 I know, it's awful. 513 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,488 What do I do? I can't just sit with this, it bothers me now. 514 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:16,864 I don't know what you should do. 515 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:17,990 Maybe you could bring it up with her. 516 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,200 Keep me out of it. Could never-- 517 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,494 His girlfriend, the optometrist, dropped a Pirate's Booty 518 00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,330 on the floor. Didn't pick it up. 519 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,623 It's not a good thing to drop the booty 520 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,166 - and not pick it up. - Not good. 521 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,667 - So what? - What do you mean "So what"? 522 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,002 There's a sense of entitlement there, 523 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,337 it's not a good quality. 524 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:32,213 Let it go. You're so fucking judgmental. 525 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,464 Please rise. 526 00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,050 Do you like Pirate Booty? 527 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,760 - No it's disgusting. - It's not a good snack. 528 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,679 I don't like a cheesy snack, do you? 529 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,555 No, if I'm gonna have anything, I'm gonna have a potato chip. 530 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,349 - A cheesy snack is not good. - No! 531 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,560 All right. 532 00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:53,734 Man he's good. 533 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,319 - Unbelievable. - Yeah. 534 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,407 Thank you all for coming. 535 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,992 - Shanah tovah. - Shanah tovah. 536 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,911 I can tell you this, 537 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,579 they're not gonna be seeing me again anytime soon. 538 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,039 You didn't enjoy, you didn't have fun? 539 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,666 [Susie] Rabbi Freedman. 540 00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:11,335 Oh, my God, that was so moving. Just terrific. 541 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,962 - Thank you. - Hello. 542 00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,588 I wasn't sure you were gonna make it. 543 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,048 Come on, I'm a man of my word. Are you kidding? 544 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,967 - Yes, you are. - Very nice service, 545 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,428 and by the way, fantastic on that shofar. 546 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,138 - Oh, thank you. - He's pretty amazing. 547 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,681 - I don't know how you do it. - Just blow. 548 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,933 I've tried 50 times, I've never ever been able 549 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,476 to get anything out of it. 550 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:29,145 [Freedman] Why don't you give it a try? 551 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,813 No, it's ridiculous. I can't do it. 552 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,398 How do you know? You might be a regular Dizzy Gillespie. 553 00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,316 I can't. Okay, I'll give it a try. 554 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,861 - [Freddy] He's ready for this. - With this. Do you... huh, huh. 555 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,529 Nothing personal. 556 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:39,946 This is quite a lead up. You'd better really be able 557 00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:41,490 to blow that thing. 558 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,368 This is crazy. It's an exercise in futility. 559 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,704 [Freddy] Blow that thing. 560 00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:51,000 You're a master in the making, I can tell. 561 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:53,419 - Ridiculous. - Please keep it as a gift. 562 00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,880 What? I can't possibly take this from you. 563 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,882 It was such a lovely day on the golf course. 564 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,342 - I want you to have this. - All right. Okay. 565 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,761 - Thank you so much. - Enjoy. 566 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,387 - Thank you. - It's good to see you here. 567 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:04,972 Nice to see you guys. 568 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,016 That's a nice gesture. You'll have that forever. 569 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:10,144 Oh, please. I'm never gonna pick this up for the rest of my life. 570 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,147 ♪ ♪ 571 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:20,029 - Hey, guys, how you doin'? - Doing swell. How are you? 572 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,446 Great. Cannot complain. 573 00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:22,990 - It's so beautiful out. - Oh, gorgeous day. 574 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,284 Yeah? You got any fun plans for today? 575 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,911 Thinking about having my leg amputated. 576 00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:29,413 Oh, well, good luck. 577 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,791 - You find everything okay? - Yes, we did, yeah. 578 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,218 I would like to, uh... 579 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,054 Go ahead. 580 00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:46,472 ...buy this watermelon. 581 00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:47,765 I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said. 582 00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:52,144 He said he'd like to buy the watermelon. 583 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,438 - Okay. - And that's okay. 584 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:57,148 - Yeah. - Because it's not a crime 585 00:21:57,273 --> 00:22:01,654 for a Black man to like watermelon, is it? 586 00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:04,031 Sir, do you like watermelon? 587 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,826 It's really none of my business, man, it's... 588 00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:08,536 Just doing my thing, you know. 589 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,788 Tell me the truth. Do you like watermelon? 590 00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:14,917 Yeah, I like watermelon. 591 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:16,961 - You like it a lot? - I do. 592 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:18,295 I like watermelon. 593 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,047 I like it. I like watermelon! 594 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:22,590 [Larry] He likes watermelon! Of course, you like it, 595 00:22:22,715 --> 00:22:23,843 because it's delicious! 596 00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:25,135 - Right! - Why wouldn't you like it? 597 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:26,595 - Thank you! - You know what? 598 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,806 Get yourself a watermelon, on me. 599 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,559 - I will! - And you know what else? 600 00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:33,727 I love gefilte fish. 601 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,855 Yeah, you heard me, gefilte fish. 602 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:39,066 And I'm gonna have it with a smear of cream cheese 603 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:40,609 on a bagel. 604 00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:45,155 And I might even have some herring. 605 00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:48,075 And that's okay too. Ring up that watermelon. 606 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,744 - Ring up the gefilte fish. - All right. 607 00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:51,996 My man. 608 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,586 Yeah I've looked everywhere. 609 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,838 I can't find the robe. It's lost. 610 00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:05,843 - Okay, that's bullshit. - It's lost. 611 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,428 - Give me the robe. - You know what? 612 00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,430 If you're gonna give an important job like that 613 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:12,016 to a member of an inferior race, you gotta expect us 614 00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:13,183 to screw it up. 615 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,727 I'm in a lot of trouble now because of you. 616 00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:16,395 A lot of trouble. 617 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,147 I thought you said he was a very decent Klansman. 618 00:23:18,272 --> 00:23:20,023 He is a decent Klansman, but he's still a Klansman! 619 00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:22,859 He's got rallies coming up in Santa Fe and Tucson. 620 00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:25,696 He's not gonna have his robe. He's not gonna be happy! 621 00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:26,864 That's a real shame. 622 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:30,367 ♪ ♪ 623 00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:40,461 What do you mean he lost it? 624 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:42,254 Yeah, said he lost it. 625 00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:44,214 - I fucking trusted you. - Yeah. 626 00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:46,008 You go to the cleaners, 627 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:47,676 you give them your clothes to get cleaned... 628 00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:49,345 - Yeah. - ...and they're supposed to give it back to you. 629 00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:50,721 They're supposed to give it back to you. 630 00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:52,263 It's a-- It's a disgrace. 631 00:23:52,388 --> 00:23:54,808 Well, you can't go to fucking Walmart and buy a robe. 632 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,518 - Yeah. - So, what are you 633 00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:57,895 gonna do about it? 634 00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:59,647 That's not my problem. 635 00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:00,940 You're the one who took the robe. 636 00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:02,066 Yeah, it's my responsibility. 637 00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,692 How are you gonna fix this, Larry? 638 00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:06,820 You know what? 639 00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:11,282 My friend's wife is a seamstress. 640 00:24:11,407 --> 00:24:13,786 You can't believe the stuff that she can sew. 641 00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:15,788 - Yeah? - She kind of owes me a favor. 642 00:24:15,913 --> 00:24:19,833 Still, it's not gonna be an easy ask, but... 643 00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:21,542 I think I can get her to do it. 644 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:24,380 - Like a custom job? - A custom job. 645 00:24:24,505 --> 00:24:25,798 You think she can get it done. 646 00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:27,465 She can get it done. She can get it done, yeah. 647 00:24:27,590 --> 00:24:29,343 I've never had a custom one done. 648 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,513 She could do it. You will be the envy of every Klansman! 649 00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:34,640 Huh, you like that? 650 00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:35,808 They'll look at you, they'll go, 651 00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,559 "Hey, what, did you see Joe's robe? 652 00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:39,478 Look at Joe's robe, where do I get one of those?" 653 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:41,981 You'll get invited to the Grand Wizard's house for dinner. 654 00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:43,691 That's my prediction. 655 00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:45,317 I've never been to his house. If I could go to dinner, 656 00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:48,445 I'd say that comes out to be a pretty fair trade. 657 00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:50,406 - Yeah. - Great, great. 658 00:24:53,032 --> 00:24:54,576 That'd be awesome, man. 659 00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:05,629 Maybe you could do me a small favor. 660 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:09,174 Anyway, I hope I'm not disturbing you. 661 00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:11,135 No, I'm just making dinner. You know, the usual. 662 00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:13,470 You know, I'm not one for pop-ins, you know. 663 00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:16,432 - You pop in all the time. - Eh? You know. 664 00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:18,058 By the way, I cannot stop thinking 665 00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:20,144 - about that banner. - Uh, yeah. 666 00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:22,896 That was an incredible work of art. 667 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,773 That makes me so happy that you appreciate it. 668 00:25:24,898 --> 00:25:27,776 How could I not? I wouldn't be a human being, for God's sake! 669 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,528 With all due modesty, it's a masterpiece, 670 00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:31,155 I mean, it's amazing. 671 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,906 If I had a talent like that, I'd be shouting it 672 00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:34,700 from the rooftops, "Hey, look at me everybody." 673 00:25:34,825 --> 00:25:36,243 You have that need. I'm more secure. 674 00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:37,744 Yeah. 675 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:38,746 Thanks again for golfing with the rabbi. 676 00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:41,582 Oh, what a delightful man. 677 00:25:41,707 --> 00:25:43,250 I knew you would like him. 678 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,752 - And fun to play with. - Fun. 679 00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:46,378 Sense of humor, just like you said. 680 00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,172 - Right. - And hip, whoo! 681 00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:50,632 - Yeah. - Those four and a half hours 682 00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:52,384 just flew by. 683 00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:54,595 Anyway, I was thinking maybe you could sew 684 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,305 something for me. 685 00:25:56,430 --> 00:25:58,098 Uh, I'm so touched. 686 00:25:58,223 --> 00:25:59,933 You'll do it? 687 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:01,393 Well, depends on what it is, I am not capable of everything. 688 00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,020 I don't think it's that difficult. 689 00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:04,646 I think you could knock it off... 690 00:26:04,772 --> 00:26:05,981 You have something in mind? 691 00:26:06,106 --> 00:26:07,608 - Yeah, yes, I do, actually. - What is it? 692 00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:09,401 It's not for me. It's for a friend of mine. 693 00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:10,444 - What is it? - It's kind of a robe. 694 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:11,987 What kind of a robe, like a bathrobe? 695 00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:13,571 No, more like a sheet-y kind of thing. 696 00:26:13,696 --> 00:26:15,741 Sheet, like a kaftan, kind of a... 697 00:26:15,866 --> 00:26:17,910 - It's kaftan-ish, yeah. - Uh-huh. 698 00:26:18,035 --> 00:26:20,537 - There's a hood and-- - Is it for a man or a woman? 699 00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:22,998 - Oh, it's for a man. - What kind of a man? 700 00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:26,126 - A Klansman. - What do you mean, a Klansman? 701 00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:27,795 Yeah, a Ku Klux Klansman. 702 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:28,587 - What? - Yeah. 703 00:26:28,712 --> 00:26:30,506 What are you, fucking crazy? 704 00:26:30,631 --> 00:26:32,633 I could see how you would react like that, okay? 705 00:26:32,758 --> 00:26:34,384 How do you even know a Klansman? 706 00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:36,303 I spilled coffee on his robe, you know, I feel like 707 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,388 it's my responsibility to replace the robe. 708 00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:39,973 The dry cleaner said he lost it. 709 00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:42,392 Larry, it goes against everything I believe in. 710 00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:44,061 Next thing you're gonna do is tell me some of them 711 00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:45,479 are very good people. 712 00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:47,397 I did play golf with the rabbi. 713 00:26:47,523 --> 00:26:50,400 He was the slowest player I've ever been with. 714 00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:51,984 You do owe me a favor. 715 00:26:57,157 --> 00:26:58,534 I'll do it. 716 00:26:58,659 --> 00:27:00,994 - Thank you so much. - Just go. Just go. 717 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:02,663 And by the way, don't worry about the pointy hat 718 00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:05,165 because that didn't get coffee on it. 719 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:06,959 - Oh, some good things. - Yeah. Also, 720 00:27:07,084 --> 00:27:08,836 don't make the sleeves too floppy 721 00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:10,921 because they can get burned when he's lighting the torches. 722 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:14,633 I'm sorry you weren't here the other night. 723 00:27:14,758 --> 00:27:17,177 We had a fabulous square dance. 724 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:19,429 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, right in the barn. 725 00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:20,806 - You square... - Yeah. 726 00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:22,516 I'm picturing you square dancing. 727 00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:24,017 Oh, yeah, yeah! Grab your partner, 728 00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:26,645 do-si-do, oh, yeah. I do-si, yeah. 729 00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:30,983 Oh, hey, hey, look at this. 730 00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:32,693 - Look at Jessie. - Oh. 731 00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:34,945 I'd like you to meet my friend, Woody. 732 00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:36,363 - Jessie. - Huh? 733 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,157 You're a beautiful mother. 734 00:27:38,282 --> 00:27:40,367 - She's my baby. - Oh, yeah. 735 00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:42,327 Do you ever milk her? 736 00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:44,288 Joe. Do I milk? 737 00:27:44,413 --> 00:27:46,832 - Joe, tell him about my... - Larry milk. 738 00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:48,333 - Huh? - He milk. 739 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,502 - Oh, yeah, I milk. - I mean, she looks like 740 00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:52,421 she's ready to pop. Let's pull up a stool and get it going. 741 00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:58,260 Uh, it's a great idea, but I milked so much last week. 742 00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:00,762 I got milky fingers, you know what that is? 743 00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:02,222 I never heard of that. 744 00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:04,016 It's a farm term, it means when you milk too much 745 00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:06,977 and your fingers get very stiff and you can't close them up. 746 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:09,313 [Woody] And what about the calf? What's the calf's name? 747 00:28:09,438 --> 00:28:13,358 The calf? Oh, yeah, that's, uh, that's Rebecca. 748 00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:16,737 Oh, it's very, uh, gendery-bendery of you 749 00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:19,406 to have a male calf with a female name. 750 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:22,951 You know, uh, we don't see gender here on this farm. 751 00:28:23,076 --> 00:28:24,786 We're kind of a woke farm. 752 00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:26,622 We're the most progressive farm in the valley, Woody. 753 00:28:26,747 --> 00:28:28,123 - Are you? - Oh, yeah. 754 00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:30,834 You know, Joe here, uh, he's got the pictures 755 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:33,295 of Nancy Pelosi on his tractor. 756 00:28:37,465 --> 00:28:39,426 - It's funny. Yeah. - Yeah. 757 00:28:39,551 --> 00:28:41,053 So anyway, you know, we should, uh, 758 00:28:41,178 --> 00:28:43,013 we should probably take off. I could-- 759 00:28:43,138 --> 00:28:45,015 If you want some of those apples back there, 760 00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:47,476 Joe can rustle you up a bunch if you want, to take home. 761 00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:49,102 Right, I won't let the Jew charge you. 762 00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:51,355 Oh. 763 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,982 We harass each other all the time, yeah. 764 00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:55,400 Well, what do you call him? 765 00:28:55,525 --> 00:28:57,319 I just call him a racist cocksucker. 766 00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:03,825 - It's good stuff. - It works. It works. 767 00:29:03,951 --> 00:29:04,868 It's life on the ranch. 768 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:05,994 - Yeah? - Yeah. 769 00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:08,247 Wow. What an honor to meet you. 770 00:29:08,372 --> 00:29:10,999 - Bye Jessie, yeah. - You gonna pet her goodbye? 771 00:29:11,124 --> 00:29:13,043 I gotta have lunch in a minute. 772 00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:23,887 You okay? 773 00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:26,014 Yeah, I'm great. Great. 774 00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,724 Freddy. 775 00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:31,478 Okay. What's wrong? What? What's going on? 776 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,522 Now that you've mentioned something, 777 00:29:33,647 --> 00:29:36,066 someone that we both know... 778 00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:37,818 - Mm-hmm. - ...was in your office. 779 00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:39,486 Okay. 780 00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:41,363 And said that you were, um, eating some Pirate Booty. 781 00:29:41,488 --> 00:29:43,532 And that the Pirate Booty fell on the ground. 782 00:29:43,657 --> 00:29:45,659 And that you made a decision not to pick the Pirate Booty 783 00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:48,412 up off the floor, and it's been bothering me. 784 00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:50,455 - Is this a joke? - It's a simple question. 785 00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:52,291 Did you drop the Pirate Booty or did you not? 786 00:29:52,416 --> 00:29:55,669 No, but who would tell you something so insane? 787 00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:57,546 - The who's not important. - It's very important. 788 00:29:57,671 --> 00:29:59,256 - What? It was a dog walker... - Freddy, who? 789 00:29:59,381 --> 00:30:01,174 It was a mutual friend. What does it matter? 790 00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:02,968 - It was Larry David. - Oh for fuck's sake. 791 00:30:03,093 --> 00:30:04,469 Okay? He said to me that he saw you in the office 792 00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:06,013 - you were eating-- - Larry David, 793 00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,556 he couldn't choose between one and two. 794 00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:08,807 - Why is this about... - One or two. 795 00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,434 Did you drop the Pirate Booty? 796 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:12,519 - He is Magoo. - But what's his motivation? 797 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:13,937 What would he gain from it? 798 00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:15,564 Freddy, don't you think if I notice something 799 00:30:15,689 --> 00:30:17,024 that fell on the ground, I would pick it up? 800 00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:18,400 - It's ridiculous. - Yeah, one would hope. 801 00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:20,152 So I'm gonna ask you one more time. 802 00:30:20,277 --> 00:30:21,320 - That's it. - Freddy? 803 00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:22,946 - Did you drop the Pirate Booty - Yes. 804 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:24,448 - Okay. - Yes. 805 00:30:24,573 --> 00:30:26,158 I dropped the fucking Pirate's Booty, okay. 806 00:30:26,283 --> 00:30:27,868 Wasn't a big deal we have a team of people. 807 00:30:27,993 --> 00:30:29,286 I was busy. 808 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:30,704 This is where we should've started. 809 00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:31,830 Didn't care then, don't care now. 810 00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:33,373 Yeah, and you know what? 811 00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:35,208 - Didn't wanna pick it up. - Look what you put me through. 812 00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:36,460 - Wait, I put you through? - Yeah. 813 00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:37,961 This is all fucking Larry David. 814 00:30:38,086 --> 00:30:39,296 No, it's not. Thank God for Larry David 815 00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:40,672 because you'll grow from this. 816 00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,341 Ew, you know what, I'm growing now. 817 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,801 I'm outta here. Oh, God. 818 00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:47,054 And you know what? You know what? 819 00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:49,514 That's not gonna solve anything. That's not gonna solve anything. 820 00:30:49,639 --> 00:30:51,350 This is how you handle-- Okay, all right. 821 00:30:51,475 --> 00:30:54,186 I see it now. I don't know how I didn't see it before. 822 00:30:54,311 --> 00:30:55,812 I hope someone can pick that up. 823 00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:58,065 By the way, super great way of handling this. 824 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,277 - How about that? - Uh, fantastic. 825 00:31:02,402 --> 00:31:04,071 - Right? - Thank you so much. 826 00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:07,366 - The grapes, the apples. - Of course, of course. 827 00:31:07,491 --> 00:31:10,285 And I'm looking forward to talking about Uncle Mo. 828 00:31:10,410 --> 00:31:13,038 That's very exciting. Thank you. 829 00:31:13,163 --> 00:31:15,207 You got it made out here, you know. 830 00:31:15,332 --> 00:31:17,000 [Joe] It's a pleasure there, Woody. 831 00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:18,293 - Thank you, Joe. - Yeah. 832 00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:20,045 You take care of yourself, man. 833 00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:22,672 - Yeah, you too, man. - Thank you, sir. Oops. 834 00:31:22,798 --> 00:31:25,175 Good man. These are good. I'll see you guys. 835 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:27,344 Hey, what-- Whoa. What the fuck? 836 00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:28,720 What? 837 00:31:28,845 --> 00:31:29,888 Aren't you gonna pick up the grape? 838 00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:33,725 It's just-- Well, no, no. 839 00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:35,894 Yeah but I wouldn't drop a grape on your porch 840 00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:38,146 - and then walk off. - It's just a grape. 841 00:31:38,271 --> 00:31:39,731 It doesn't matter. 842 00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,984 Fucking Hollywood leftist bullshit is what you are. 843 00:31:43,110 --> 00:31:45,237 Hollywood left-- Larry. Come on. 844 00:31:45,362 --> 00:31:48,740 - Eh... Should pick up the grape. - That's not cool. 845 00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:52,202 It looks like it is a sense of entitlement there. 846 00:31:52,327 --> 00:31:53,578 It's gonna biodegrade, Larry. 847 00:31:53,703 --> 00:31:55,497 Pick up the fucking grape, Woody! 848 00:31:56,540 --> 00:31:58,291 Sure, I'll pick up the grape, Joe. 849 00:31:58,417 --> 00:31:59,543 Here, here's your grape. 850 00:31:59,668 --> 00:32:02,045 Fuck you with your fucking grape! 851 00:32:02,170 --> 00:32:04,714 And there's a whole fucking fistful of grapes. 852 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,134 And guess what? Here's a fucking apple. 853 00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:09,219 - Don't you fucking do it. - Fuck you. 854 00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:11,972 Fuck this shitty farm. And guess what? 855 00:32:12,097 --> 00:32:15,183 Your show, good luck with it, because I ain't doing it. 856 00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:18,019 You know what? Fuck this. Stay right there, boy. 857 00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:23,191 - Where's he going? - I think he's getting a gun. 858 00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:26,361 Teddy was right about you, Larry. 859 00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:29,489 Ted Danson? What did he say? 860 00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:31,533 You should've picked up the grape! 861 00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:33,618 I'm not seeing well out of the lenses, you know. 862 00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:34,995 I just made bad decisions. 863 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,580 I took two, I should've taken one. 864 00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:38,540 And I took three and I should've taken four. 865 00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:40,625 My whole life, always wrong decisions. 866 00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:43,253 - I'm plagued with them. - Sir, we'll get you a new prescription. 867 00:32:43,378 --> 00:32:45,505 I just need to dilate your pupils. 868 00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:47,799 This might feel a little cold. Okay. 869 00:32:47,924 --> 00:32:50,010 Your eyes are gonna be a little sensitive to light 870 00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:53,513 for the next 30 minutes, so stay out of direct sunlight. 871 00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:54,890 I'll take it from here. 872 00:32:55,015 --> 00:32:56,433 - I'm definitely prepared for it. - Thank you so much. 873 00:32:56,558 --> 00:32:57,976 - I'm gonna do one. - Thank you. 874 00:32:58,101 --> 00:32:59,895 I'm gonna do one, and I'm gonna do... 875 00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:01,480 What the fuck, Larry? 876 00:33:01,605 --> 00:33:03,231 Why would you go and tell Freddy I dropped a stupid 877 00:33:03,356 --> 00:33:06,151 fucking Pirate's Booty on the floor? Are you nuts? 878 00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:07,527 Why didn't you pick it up? 879 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,613 Why do you fucking care if I picked it up? 880 00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,031 It's not that I care. There's a sense of entitlement there 881 00:33:11,156 --> 00:33:12,657 - that I thought was wrong... - What? 882 00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:14,242 ...and I needed to let my friend know about that. 883 00:33:14,367 --> 00:33:15,994 Larry, I was gonna pick it up, okay? 884 00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:17,329 Oh, you were going to pick it up? 885 00:33:17,454 --> 00:33:18,872 I was going to pick it up. 886 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,373 I don't think you were going to pick it up. 887 00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:21,875 How do you know and why do you care? 888 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,335 You know why? Because I picked it up. 889 00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:24,628 No one asked you to clean it up, Larry. 890 00:33:24,753 --> 00:33:26,254 You know what you could've done? 891 00:33:26,379 --> 00:33:28,089 Hey, I have an idea. You could've done nothing. 892 00:33:28,215 --> 00:33:29,549 You think I can leave a Pirate's Booty on the floor? 893 00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:30,800 - No. - No one fucking cares 894 00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:31,968 about the Pirate's Booty, Larry. 895 00:33:32,093 --> 00:33:33,678 I care about the Pirate's Booty. 896 00:33:33,803 --> 00:33:35,138 You know what, Larry? It's time for your eye exam. 897 00:33:35,263 --> 00:33:36,681 Huh? 898 00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:39,559 Oh! 899 00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:41,728 Was that a one or a two? 900 00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:54,199 ♪ ♪ 901 00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:05,710 Oh! 902 00:34:07,671 --> 00:34:09,547 What the fuck? 903 00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:14,302 I'm so, so sorry. Are you okay? 904 00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:16,596 I-- Yes, I'm fine. Are you okay? 905 00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:17,764 I'm fine, yes. I'm telling you-- 906 00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:19,474 Great, my car is not doing great. 907 00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:21,142 Uh, look, I'll pay for the whole thing. 908 00:34:21,268 --> 00:34:22,852 I have insurance. I was at the eye doctor that-- 909 00:34:22,978 --> 00:34:24,521 She shoved the thing in my face. 910 00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:26,064 You're not supposed to drive after that. 911 00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:27,732 Oh, but she shoved it. She shoved it. 912 00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:29,150 You're supposed to have someone pick you up. 913 00:34:29,276 --> 00:34:30,569 It doesn't matter. 914 00:34:30,694 --> 00:34:32,195 Oh, you're being very nice about this. 915 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,572 - Can we do the exchange so... - Uh, yeah, yes. 916 00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:35,782 - Yeah, I'm so sorry. - Thanks. 917 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:38,493 Larry. 918 00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:43,123 Mary. I'm Mary. 919 00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:44,873 You can take a picture of it with your phone, 920 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,376 so you can maybe read it later. 921 00:34:51,672 --> 00:34:54,801 - Mary Ferguson? - Yes. 922 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:56,928 - Seriously? - Yes. What's happening? 923 00:34:57,053 --> 00:34:59,848 Oh, my God. Your name's Mary Ferguson? 924 00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,850 - Yes, it is. - This is incredible. 925 00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:03,643 - Is it? - This is kismet. 926 00:35:03,768 --> 00:35:04,978 This is unbelievable. 927 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:07,939 Would you ever be interested in a free trip to Asia? 928 00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:11,901 [Mary Ferguson] Larry. 929 00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:13,486 You won't believe this, but I have been having 930 00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:15,155 a recurring dream about going to Asia. 931 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:16,448 - Get out of here. - Right. 932 00:35:16,573 --> 00:35:18,408 And the dates work out perfectly for my schedule. 933 00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,702 So I'm getting excited. So tell me about this guy. 934 00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:22,329 - Leon? - Yeah. 935 00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:25,040 Well, let's just say he's a unique individual. 936 00:35:25,165 --> 00:35:26,791 Okay. 937 00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:28,793 You could not have asked for a better traveling companion. 938 00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:30,170 - [Mary] I'm excited. - Take my word. 939 00:35:30,295 --> 00:35:31,880 [Mary] I can't wait. 940 00:35:32,005 --> 00:35:34,049 [Leon] You'd be surprised! You know what I'm saying? 941 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,103 What the fuck was that? 942 00:35:47,228 --> 00:35:51,065 That... ...was a Mary Ferguson. 943 00:35:51,190 --> 00:35:53,068 I brought her back here to meet you. 944 00:35:53,193 --> 00:35:55,945 - She was perfect! - Lost another one. 945 00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:57,155 That's three, Larry. 946 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:58,782 That's fucking three Mary Fergusons. 947 00:35:58,907 --> 00:36:00,617 Who told you to have a watermelon orgy? 948 00:36:00,742 --> 00:36:03,286 You told me that shit. You said it, Larry. 949 00:36:05,538 --> 00:36:07,957 - Can I join you? - Fuck yeah, come on, man. 950 00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:09,709 Get in on this sweet meat. 951 00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:11,920 What happened to your eyes, man? 952 00:36:12,045 --> 00:36:13,254 Like a fucking Racoon. 953 00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:16,383 I had an accident at the, uh, optometrist. 954 00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:17,592 - Cheers! - Cheers! 955 00:36:17,717 --> 00:36:19,344 Cheers! Yeah, cheers. 956 00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:25,684 You will not replace us! 957 00:36:25,809 --> 00:36:27,310 [Joe] Shit, shit, shit, I'm late. 958 00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:30,105 Oh, wow 959 00:36:30,230 --> 00:36:31,648 Here we go. 960 00:36:31,773 --> 00:36:33,315 You will not replace us! 961 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,443 [Joe] Geez. Sorry I'm late, guys. 962 00:36:35,568 --> 00:36:39,948 You will not replace us! You will not replace us! 963 00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:43,618 - [Klansman 1] Look at this guy! - [Klansman 2] He's a Jew! 964 00:36:48,707 --> 00:36:50,959 No! Stop! Some lady made it! 965 00:36:51,084 --> 00:36:53,420 [Joe] Stop! Help! 966 00:36:58,466 --> 00:37:00,677 [Joe] Larry! 967 00:37:04,097 --> 00:37:04,889 Larry! 968 00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:06,933 Jew boy! 969 00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:10,186 Larry! 970 00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:13,732 Open this fucking door or I'll break it down. 971 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:15,942 Larry! 972 00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:17,944 You wanna see what they did to me? 973 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:20,530 I'll beat your bald ass, boy! 974 00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:24,367 You crossed the line, buddy. You think you're real funny! 975 00:37:24,492 --> 00:37:25,785 Nobody else did. 976 00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:27,954 I got my ass beat in Santa Fe. 977 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:30,540 I'll show you something funny. Get down here! 978 00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:32,125 Fucking race traitor. 979 00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:34,460 Hey, Jew boy, come down. 980 00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:36,421 Larry! 981 00:37:37,714 --> 00:37:40,884 I will pound your commie face, Larry. 982 00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:42,844 I know that you're home. 983 00:37:42,969 --> 00:37:45,638 Come down here. 984 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:48,056 Larry, get down here! 985 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:51,227 What the fuck are you doing, man? 986 00:37:51,352 --> 00:37:55,064 Shut the fuck up, Larry. 987 00:38:00,445 --> 00:38:01,613 Shit. 988 00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:12,123 ♪ ♪ 989 00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:18,439 ♪ ♪